'I woke up in combat mode': Teenager gets zonked on anesthesia after getting their wisdom teeth removed, hilarity ensues

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    "When I woke up, it was clear to me that I had been the victim of bodily theft. They had stolen my teeth." 188555*******
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    r/tifu. 1 day ago 1ithe TIFU by rebooting in combat mode when I woke up from anesthesia. M Didn't happen today, more like 14 years ago. Feels like a fever dream now. Fever nightmare? Anyways. Another recently posted story here reminded me of the first time I ever lost my ever loving mind.
  • 03
    I got my wisdom teeth out when I was 18. It took an inordinate amount of anesthesia to get me under. I've been called (affectionately, mind you) "a hummingbird on crack" in terms of both energy levels and metabolism, so I think it probably has something to do with that? At least that's what I've always chalked it up to.
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    So how much anesthesia can a small teen girl possibly need? They had my mom sign some more forms, sent the CRNA home, called an actual anesthesiologist in, and I paid more money. Woo! When I woke up, it was clear to me that I had been the victim of bodily theft. They had stolen my teeth. At least, that's the closest I
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    can guess as to what I might have been thinking. Apparently I quickly and quietly pulled all of the gauze and packing out of my mouth, and then tried to sneak out but was caught. Let me tell you, I put up one helluva fight. Remember that small dinosaur from Jurassic Park that flairs his frills and sprays all that black gunk? At one point I channeled that lil guy's spirit and spit blood into the face of an assistant. Like in her eyes, and I think some of it got in her mouth.
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    Eventually my mother (a crna, ironically) got me into her car where I proceeded to shriek and wail that I was being kidnapped and tried to jump out of the car the whole way home. Well, sort of. She drove to an Olive Garden because I refused to go back to any house with her, so she just drove circles around the parking lot until I passed out and then went inside for a glass of wine. Well deserved, Ma. I don't do well with anesthesia | guess.
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    But back to that poor assistant. I felt so bad, I've never done anything like that in my life. I had to submit a blood test and then I took her flowers and a gift card. She had a black eye. Apparently I also head butted her. I just never came back and figured that was the best gift I could give her.
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    TL;DR: I woke up in combat mode and tried to take out a dental assistant using biological warfare Edit: I do not have red hair. For those that do have red hair, cue the late 90s War on Drugs commercial scary voice this could happen to YOU. But seriously, red heads are known to have more adverse reactions to anesthesia than other people. People with red hair should be aware of this when going into surgery.
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    CarinasHere 1d ago · Edited 22h ago ● I was starting to come up out of the anesthesia when they were transferring me from the table. The anesthesiologist said, "keep your hands on your stomach", followed by "your OWN stomach!" Apparently I had smacked him in the nuts while I was flailing around.
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    green_ubitqitea • 1d ago Every time I've been put under general anesthesia, when I wake up I have been screaming murder. No one has ever told me what i have said or done, but every time (with one exception) my family has forced me to write apology notes to doctors and nurses. The one time I didn't have to write it was because they put me under without permission after i denied it and it wasn't necessary. I don't know what happens, but apparently I don't react well. At all.
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    Bubbly-Pressure5189 22h ago I woke up from my wisdom teeth surgery thinking I was a Pokemon trainer who had been in a helicopter crash and was being treated at a Pokemon center. Fully believed it. Woke up screaming and sobbing for my Squirtle and needed to be held down. I was unconsolable thinking it had died in the crash. Felt as real as losing a beloved pet. Anyway, I blame the fact that Greys Anatomy (the plane crash episode) was playing in the waiting room while I was playing Pokemon.
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    EnflameSalamandor 1d ago Nurse here who works in an Electrophysiology lab that deals with anesthesia on all cases. The patients that wake up the most combative are young females. One time, we were doing an Electrophysiology study on a 21 year old female who was 80 lbs. It took 5 of us to hold this girl down because she was on a very tiny table, and we didn't want her to throw herself off of it. Lol The young girls always wake up somewhat combative. It's fascinating.
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    Melissar84 1d ago . That's really interesting. I wonder if it's some kind of protection mechanism. Like the brain saying "whoa, we got knocked out, don't remember why, must have been roofied, activate fight-or-flight mode" 4 116 ↓ Reply ↑ Share 1ithe OP 23h ago Actually, I've had the unpleasant experience of being roofied. Maybe the next doc to knock me out should take a note from their book because I came out of that stuff like a slug working its way through a jar of molasses.
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    MrMooey12 1d ago This made my day reading, when I had my appendix out and mind you it was my first ever surgery, I woke up from the anesthesia and kid you not the first words out of my mouth to the nurse was "can you pull the plug" Ⓒ4 1.2K ↓ Reply ↑ Share 49.1 darkshrike 1d ago When they took out my gall bladder (the old way, no laparoscopy) the Dr. asked how I was feeling. I responded with "Like you cut me open, you monster. I hope the organ fetches a good price on the black market." then start
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    Audginator 1d ago ● My first response when waking up after getting my appendix out was something along the lines of "Have I been stabbed yet?" I then proceeded to call my surgeon Dr. Bread because, and I quote "she had bread on her head". (She did not, by the way.) Relatively sure I gave them many chuckles that day.
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    dan_dares 1d ago ● Last time I came around after surgery, I would only say my name rank and soldier number. Until my brain finished rebooting. I left the Army like 15 years before that point, no clue why it latched on to that. I guess my brain went into 'interrogation mode' Reply ↑ Share 553 1ithe OP 1d ago I've been watching a lot of MASH lately and I just imagined this scene in the 4077 lol
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    leafleafcrocus • 1d ago I have had anesthesia a few times with no issues afterward but my little lizard brain is so scared of the idea of anesthesia that in the pre-op I become a terrified weeping mess who can process no logic about how it is going to be fine. The last time, I had a nurse basically big spooning me on the gurney to help me calm down before going under-above and beyond truly!!! Then I wake up perfectly happy and think "why was I scared of that?" only to have extreme panic next tim
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    Sublime-Squid. 1d ago I'm the same way, I came in for a very simple surgery but couldn't stop crying the whole time in preop. The anesthesiologist comes in trying to help calm me down and he's like "yeah it's super simple, the odds of us chipping your teeth when we tube you are slim" and some other things I hadn't even considered an issue and I just started crying harder... I now have a note in my chart that says "very anxious about anesthesia":")
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    charrison9313 • 1d ago Coming out of anesthesia is always a ride. When I woke up from open heart surgery, chest full of drain tubes and wires, my first request was a bacon double cheeseburger and a chocolate shake. The nurses on the heart unit were like "No, you can't eat yet." Cue me refusing to respond to anything the nurses asked that wasn't about getting me my burger and shake.
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    PancakeExprationDate · 1d ago Nice. When I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted, I apparently came to in the chair when they were done, stood up and said, "I have an idea!" Then ran into the waiting room moaning in pain with blood coming out of my mouth in front of two kids waiting for their appointment. I have zero memory of this. ↑ 157 ↓ Ⓒ ↑ Share Reply LilStabbyboo • 22h ago That's absolutely hilarious. You probably traumatized those kids for years though.
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    TrashCan1991 - 23h ago The most recent time that I woke up out of anesthesia, the poor nurse assigned to me to make sure I was alright got a full history lesson on the tools and tactics of medieval siege warfare. I have no idea why it was so imperative that she know the proper way to defend castle walls, but her peasants will thank me when they still have grain next winter.
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    donuthead_27 • 1d ago When I went under for my wisdom teeth, apparently I came to absolutely hysterical, like I wouldn't stop cackling for 15+ minutes. My mom's an RN and said it the was funniest thing she'd seen. The doctor and all the nurses kept coming by the room we were in to see me b/c again, I was giggling non-stop. They gave me my teeth in a little gold treasure chest and I allegedly sang out "mom I got the booooooty". When it was time for us to go, the doc stood me up, I said "oh my leg

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